I have been in heavy warfare since 10:30 PM. and it is really intense. The enemy has been hit me hard for so long that I am in fetal position and praying and praying. I can actually feel spiritual pain in the spirit has the attacks keep coming wave, after wave, after wave. At one point I found my self slapping myself in the face. I am have no idea how it happen, but I keep sensing something telling me to curse God.

I kept saying, "I praise you Lord Jehovah, Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit. I praise you Lord, Jehovah, Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit."

The next thing I knew my hand slapped my face three times as I praised the Lord over and over.

After each hit I heard, "This is for Jehovah; this is for Jesus Christ; this is for the Holy Spirit."

I just got the tar beat out of me, but all I said to myself, "Stand on the Rock! Stand on the Rock! This will pass! This will pass!"

It went on for hours. I kept praying and praying for the Lord to lift this off of me, but the attacks just kept coming wave after wave as I laid in the fetal position trying to protect myself.

I finally reached the point I decided to give up writing the Prophecies and stop all of it. For I couldn't take anymore. I was finally broken in the spirit and the attacks just kept coming one after another. And I kept praying and praying everything from the Lord's prayer, to tongues, to whatever came into my mind. And they just kept hitting me and hitting me.

At 1:30 AM, I guess the Lord finally heard my prayers. For all of a sudden my warfare tongue started and I went into the offensive. It feels like the attacks have lifted, but I can still sense the enemy here. It is about 2 AM. now and I don't know why the Lord let it last so long. As the warfare tongue started my hand went into the air with my legs stretched out as I laid on top of my bed. The sounds that came out of my month were fast and hard has my body reacted to the Force of the warfare. I could sense the Power through the prayer language and I wanted to start recording at that time, but the Power of the prayer language was so strong that I couldn't stop to turn on the tape recorder.

At the present time I am beat down to nothing. I guess there's no sleep tonight. I don't understand!!! The Lord says, He Loves and cares for me. Why did I get the tar beat out of me tonight. I am so tired of all this stuff. I really am. I don't think I can take much more. I just don't think I can. I really need a break. I sure don't see one coming though. All I see in my life is warfare, warfare, and more Prophecies and more warfare.

I can't seem to fight this loneliness. It gets so bad and strong at times I feel like screaming! When you fight in the spirit at times afterwards you feel so alone. It feels like the Lord just took a vacation and you're there by yourself. I know that isn't so, but you feel that way. You pray and you pray and you get the tar beat out of you. I am just so tired of all of this. I am so tired.

All I wanted was my special friend and now I find myself way out here in the middle of spiritual fights with my guts knock out in the spirit. I am financially broke, physically, and spiritually exhausted, and I see no end in sight. Well, I guess that all! I just don't know what to do. I don't know what the Lord is trying to teach me or what!!!!! I just don't know! I am just tired. (over)

Mimi nimekuwa kwenye mapambano makubwa kuanzia saa 4:30 za usiku na kwa kweli yalikuwa ni mazito. Adui amekuwa akinishambulia kwa nguvu kweli kweli kwa muda mrefu kiasi ambacho; hivi sasa mimi nimejilaza kwenye hali ya kujipinda kama mtoto mchanga tumboni mwa mama yake na huku nikiwa naomba na kuomba kweli. Kwa kweli ninahisi haswa maumivu ya kiroho katika ulimwengu wa kiroho na mapigo haya halikuwa yananijia kama mawimbi mmoja baada ya nyingine tena na tena. Wakati mmoja nilijikuta nikijipiga kofi mwenyewe usoni. Mimi wala sielewi jinsi hayo yalivyo nitokea, lakini ninahisi kuna kitu kinaniambia ni mlaani Mungu.

Mimi nikawa ninaendelea kusema, "Mimi ninakusifu ewe Bwana Yehova, Yesu Kristo, na Roho Mtakatifu. Mimi ninakusifu ewe Bwana, Yehova, Yesu Kristo na Roho Mtakatifu. "

Kilichofuata ninacho kifahamu ni kuwa mkono wangu ukaupiga uso wangu mara tatu wakati huku mimi nikiwa ninamsifu Bwana tena na tena.

Baada ya kila kipigo nikawa ninasikia, "Hii ni kwa ajili ya Yehova; hii ni kwa ajili ya Yesu Kristo; hii ni kwa ajili ya Roho Mtakatifu."

Mimi iliniumiza kweli kweli, lakini yote niliyojisemea mwenyewe ni kuwa, "Simama juu ya Mwamba! Simama juu ya Mwamba! Hii itapita tu! Hii itapita tu!"

Haya yaliendelea kwa masaa kadha. Mimi nikawa ninaendelea kumwomba Bwana tena na tena ili aniondolee adha hii, lakini mashambulizi yaliendelea kuja kama mawimbi mmoja baada ya nyingine, wakati mimi nikiwa nimejilalia kwa kujipinda kama mtoto mchanga tumboni mwa mamaye nikijaribu kujihami mwenyewe.

Mwishoni nikawa nimefikia uamuzi wa kuachana na kuandika habari ya Unabii huu na kusimamisha mambo yake yote. Kwa maana nilishindwa kuvumilia zaidi. Mwishowe nikawa nimesambaratika katika roho na mapigo yakawa yanakuja mmoja baada ya nyingine. Na mimi nikawa ninaendela kuomba na kuomba kuanzia sala ya Baba Yetu hadi kuomba kwa lugha, hadi sala ya aina yeyote inayonijia akilini mwangu. Lakini mashambulizi hayo yakawa yanaendelea kunitwanga na kunitwanga mimi tena na tena.

Ilipofika saa 7:30 za usiku nadhani Bwana akawa amesikia maombi yangu. Kwa maana mara kwa ghafla lugha yangu ile ya mapambano ikaanza nami nikaenda kwenye mashambulizi. Nikawa ninahisia ya kwamba mashambulizi hayo yameondoka, lakini bado nikawa ninamhisi kuwa adui bado alikuwa yuko hapo. Yapata kama saa 8 za usiku hivi sasa nami sielewi ni kwa nini Bwana aliruhusu ichukue muda mrefu kiasi hiki. Wakati lugha yangu ya mapambano ilipoanza mikono yangu ilinyanyuka hewani pamoja na miguu yangu ikajinyoosha huku nikiwa nimelala juu ya kitandani. Sauti iliyokuwa inatokea mdomoni mwangu ilikuwa ni ya haraka haraka na iliyokuwa kakamavu wakati mwili wangu ukiwa unajibu nguvu za mashambulizi. Mimi nikawa ninahisi Nguvu kwa kupitia lugha ya maombi nami nikataka kuyarekodi hayo kwenye kinasa sauti wakati huo huo, lakini nguvu ya lugha hiyo ya maombi ilikuwa ni kubwa sana kiasi ambacho nilishindwa kuisimamisha ili nikawashe kinasa sauti kwa nia ya kutaka kuyarekodi mambo hayo.

Kwa wakati huu mimi nilikuwa nimechakazwa kabisa hadi nimekuwa ni makapi. Nadhani leo sitakuwa na usingizi. Kwa kweli mimi hata sielewi!!! Bwana alishasema ananipenda na ya kuwa angelinitunza na kunilinda. Sasa sielewi ni kwa nini nimepigwa hivi hadi nikachakaa usiku wa leo. Mimi nimechoshwa sana na mambo haya. Kwa kweli nimechoka. Kwani sidhani kama ninaweza kuvumilia mapigo zaidi. Kwa kweli sidhani kama naweza kuhimili mapigo zaidi. Kwa kweli ninahitaji mapumziko kidogo. Ingawa haielekei kuwa ningeliweza kupata nafasi hiyo ya mapumziko. Ninacho ona katika maisha yangu ni mapambano tu, mapambano tu, Unabii zaidi na mapambano zaidi.

Inaelekea kuwa sitaweza kupigana na upweke huu. Hali hii mara inakuwa nzito na ngumu sana wakati fulani; kiasi cha kutaka kupiga mayowe! Wakati unapokuwa na mapambano ya kiroho na baada ya kupita unajikuta mpweka sana. Ni kama Bwana amekuwa hayuko, amekwenda likizo na wewe unakuwa pale peke yako tu. Mimi ninajua hivyo sivyo, lakini unajisikia hivyo. Wewe unaomba na kuomba na unajikuta unashindwa kabisa. Kwa kweli mimi nimechoshwa na mambo haya yote. Mimi nimechoka.

Yote yale niliyotaka ilikuwa ni yule rafiki wangu wa pekee na sasa mimi ninajikuta niko hapa mbali nikiwa katikati ya mapambano haya mazito ya kiroho na ujasiri wangu ukiwa umeyeyushwa. Mimi nimeishiwa kifedha, kimwili na kiroho nimechoka kabisa, na wala hivi sasa sioni hata dali za ukomo wa jambo hili. Naam nadhani hayo ni yote!!! Kwa kweli mimi wala sielewi ni fanye nini. Mimi sielewi ni nini Bwana anacho jaribu kunifundisha kwa tukio hili au ni vipi!!!!! Kwa hakika mimi sielewi! Mimi nimechoka kabisa. (mwisho)